Monday, June 20, 2005

Father's Day Breakfast

My sweetie and I don't see much of each other in the mornings. On the
weekdays she gets up and goes for a walk. By the time she gets back,
I have already left for work. To top it off, neither of us are
morning people so even if we do see each other first thing in the
morning, its not all that romantic. Just a grunt good morning.
Although she would like to make my breaks fast, it just isn't possible
and I am perfectly capable of feeding myself.

Sundays are even worse. My responsibilities at church require me to
be there by 6:30 am, while my wife doesn't even need to get up until I
have been gone for a couple of hours. I do not begrudge her this
extra sleep as she gets to wrangle the kids and get them ready for
church. She deserves some extra rest. Again, I end up getting my own

On Father's Day my wife made me a very special breakfast. The food
itself was standard breakfast fare. What made it special is that she
got up at 5:45 am to get it ready for me. This was a big sacrifice
on her part and it meant a lot to me.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005


When you were courting and dating, you probably had some dates you
still remember fondly. It may have been the night he proposed, or
maybe she proposed. Maybe it was some other special time that was
really meaningful in your relationship. Whatever it is, it will be
unique to the two of you. Two couples can do the same thing, yet have
very different experiences. Pick one special date from you own time

Now that you have one in mind, re-do that date. For example, if it
was when he popped the question, go back to the same place and do the
same things, except popping the question as it is a one time only
thing. By being in the same environment you will be surprised at how
much more you remember about that special date.

If you have kids, take them along. Let them see how their goofy
parents used to date and what you did for fun. Lots of things change,
but people are still people. It will give your kids a positive
example of what healthy dating should be.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Flag Day

Happy Flag Day!

An essential part of keeping the fire going in a relationship is to
see yourself as part of a larger whole. The notion of "what's in it
for me" gives way to "what can I do for the marriage" and then "what's
in it for us". The marriage should be fulfilling to both parties.

We are all also part of a greater community, state and country. By
flying the flag and taking a moment to ponder all the people who have
worked and suffered and died, you can feel part of the greater whole.

Look outside your own perspective.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Getting Away From It All

Every now and again, my sweetie and I like to get away. Out most
recent getaway was at home. The kids went to stay with grandma an
grandpa for a few days.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Getting Dressed Up

I used to work at a job that required a lot of travel. I would be gone 2 weeks at a time and come home on Friday. Then on Monday was the flight out again. On occasion I had to be gone even longer than two weeks. Spending that much time apart can be very trying on the marriage and on the kids, as you can imagine. My sweetie is a real trooper and supported me in all this traveling, even when it was so hard for her to effectively be a single parent.

For some reason women quit wearing makeup after being married for a while. The husbands don't seem to mind all that much. After all, you married your gal, not Mary Kay or Revlon. Makeup becomes a special occasion thing. The wife uses it when she wants to look extra nice or for that special evening out on the town.

Once, when I had been on the road for quite a while, we had planned to go out and spend the evening with some people the even I got home. She greeted me in the usual way. That evening, my sweetie spent quite a bit of time getting ready for the evening; getting her hair just right, putting on makeup and wearing some of her "going out" clothes. She looked really nice and we had a good time. However, I felt a little bad that she was so concerned about looking good for our friends, when I had been gone for so long. It was silly to be jealous, but emotions are often silly that way.

For the gals: Remember to make going out with or spending time with your hubby should be a special occasion as well. Take the time to get dressed up for your sweetheart every now and again, just as you would an "important" person you were going to spend the evening with. Just cause this guy loves you doesn't mean you shouldn't make him say "wow" every now and again, like when you were dating.

For the guys: Give your sweetie reasons to get dressed up. Take her out to more formal places so she will want to look her best. Also, do your best to look your best. Dress nice for her. Gals like being out with a sharp dressed guy.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Sending Secret Messages

It has been said
That which costs little is less valued.
--- Miguel de Cervantes

That is that people tend to undervalue things that cost them little. The cost of a thing may be in money, yet this is not the only way that cost is calculated. Time and effort are also used to deteremine cost and are often considered more pecious than money. The correllary is that a higher cost brings a higher value. Something that cost a lot of money, or took a lot of time and effort, is held with higher regard.

Saying "thank you" or even writing "I love you" can be easily dismissed. Its not the sentiment is not sincere, but that the message costs little in the sending and in the receiving. If the cost of sending the message and the cost of receiving the message are increased, the message itself will be more valued.

The cost here is not in money, but in time and effort. A previous post discussed coded messages. By using a secret code, you can send a message that will have a higher value because of the increased effort in writing it and reading it. Here are a few ideas:
  • Verses from the bible. Just send the reference and have your sweetie look them up.
  • ROT-13 is a simple code in which letters of the alphabet are replaced by other letters. Click here for a web page to do the converting for you and wikipedia has instructions for decoding it manually.
  • Use a different alphabet to write like cirith.
  • A message treasure hunt. Create the message as a set of instructions for finding the words that form the message. The clues would be: book page paragraph word. For instance: Moby Dick, page 1, paragraph 1, word 1 = Call.
  • Do the last one using bible book, chapter, verse and word.
Gubh funyg syveg srebpvbhfyl rnpu qnl jvgu gul fcbhfr gung gul zneevntr funyy or oyrffrq jvgu fgeratgu, wbl naq ybatrivgl.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Father's Day Shopping

This year Father's Day and my birthday fall within a few weeks of each other. I guess they always do, funny how that works out. Anyway, my sweetie has started asking "what do you want for Father's Day and your birthday?" My standard answer has been either "nothing" or "I've already got what I want" and give her a big kiss.

The real problem has been that I never remember what it is I want. So this year I have been keeping notes. There are a couple of ways of keeping notes.
  • On a piece of paper. Old fashioned, but it still works. When you think of something you want, just find your paper and write it down.
  • In a PDA. This is a bit more convienent if you already have one you carry with you.
  • Camera phone. When you see something you like, email yourself a picture of it and keep it in a special folder or ...
  • Use Amazon's Wish List. I like this one because then I can easily share it with anyone.
When people ask what you want, they really want to know. Give them some choices. Maybe they won't get you exactly what you wanted, but it still might give them some good ideas of what sorts of things you are interested in. Remember that people change and what a person wants may change over time.

The other thing I want is to have people help me get a free ipod.