A Frosty Message

With the weather getting colder, scraping frost off the car windows is
becoming part of the morning ritual. If your sweetie has to scrape
the frost off the windows before leaving, you have a couple of
opportunities to surprise your sweetie. One thing to do is to write a
message to your sweetie in the frost on the windows. The message
could be a heart with both your initials in it. Keep it simple and
short so the letters can be large and easily seen.

On another day, sneak out and scrape the windows for your sweetie.
Leave a note on the steering wheel. Something like: "Your smile warms
a frosty morning".

Comfort an Ailing Sweetie

My sweetie has been under the weather the last few days. Being the
gallant husband I am, it is difficult to not be able to don my shiny
armor and ride to her rescue on my snowy white steed. Many times
during our marriage I have felt helpless because there is nothing I
can do to "make it all better". No matter how many dragons I might
slay, my sweetie is still going to have a cold.

I have learned that just because you can't fix it all, doesn't mean
you can't do something. Last night that something was buying a
dozens roses that were on sale at the store and renting a movie. Even
though I can't make it better, I can remind her I am thinking of her
and her needs.

Asking

Find a time when you need to ask your sweetie a question. Instead of
just asking it, write it on a piece of paper. Preface your question
with a compliment like:

Sweetie,

You have lovely eyes, I am so lucky to have you. Where is the sugar?

XOXOXOX

Treasure Box

During the years of a couple's marriage, they gather momentos. These
little tokens of particularly special times in our lives don't cost a
lot. However, they can mean a lot to a couple because the the
memories associated with them. Life is busy and this little things
can get lost or overlooked.

Get yourself a box for these little treasures. Make it a nice box,
like a jewelry box. Put all your special trinkets in the box. Then
on your anniversary, open the box and share those moments again. Make
a point of adding something new to the box at least once a year.

Create your own holiday

Days off work are precious things. We only get so few a year that we
often hoard them. To completely surprise your sweetie, take a day off
work just to spend together. You need not have any special plans,
just spending a day together can convert the most mundane chores to
into quality us time.

Of course, if you can do something to get away for a few hours, that
would be great to.

Sometimes the kids get a day off from school. For a special family
time, take one of those days off and enjoy the day with the kids as
well.

Its the thought that counts

In this list and on others you will see many wonderful ideas for
expressing love and gratitude to your sweetie. Among all these ideas
is a common thread: go one step beyond the normal. Instead of saying
the word, "I love you", write it in a note. Instead of just saying
"thank you", send a thank-you singing telegram.

Why bother? A couple of reasons. First, when you do something
outside the ordinary and unexpected, you place yourself at a certain
amount of emotional risk. Your sweetie will sense this. This moves
you both outside of your combined comfort zone and adds excitement to
the relationship. The comfort zone is comfortable but boring. By
moving both of you outside of that boring place, a simple yet
extra-ordinary act is a simple way of adding excitement to the
relationship.

Second, as the saying goes, "it is the thought that counts". The more
thought and preparation you put into sending your message of love and
gratitude, the more it will count. As another saying states, "talk is
cheap". You can say "I love you" over and over again. Yet its impact
is not very great. Speaking the words requires no effort and no
thought. Sending a small card with a short hand-written note shows
both thought and preparation. It is a small amount of effort, but it
shows you are thinking of your sweetie, even when you are not
together.

Third, do not spend a lot of money. There is a paradox of affluence.
We are told that buying luxurious gifts will make our sweetie happy.
However, you can't buy the affection of your sweetheart. Instead,
save your money and give a bit of your time and talents instead.

Remember me at work

If your sweetie to work outside the home, hide a nice note to them in
their lunch or briefcase. Be sure they will find it while they are
away from you. Also be sure to given them a warm welcome home after
work.

What is a "nice" note? Make romantic and intimate as you want. The
more personal the better. Keep in mind that this is the month for
Thanksgiving so be sure and express a lot of gratitude.

25 Days of Thanksgiving

Place an empty cornucopia somewhere conspicuous in the house. Maybe
on the kitchen table as a centerpiece, maybe in the living room on a
coffee table. If you have little ones, keep it out of their reach.
Then get a pad of multi-colored paper that is convenient to the
cornucopia.

From now until Thanksgiving, pay attention to the things your sweetie
does for you and your family. When you notice something, write it on
a piece of the colored paper. Then fold the note over and place in
the cornucopia. Then come Thanksgiving, read the notes of gratitude
together as a family.

A couple of rules:
1 - No fair peeking.
2 - Put at least one in everyday.
3 - Don't peek at the notes until Thanksgiving day.
4 - Make each note specific.
BAD NOTE: laundry
GOOD NOTE: On Nov 1 it was so nice to have an ironed shirt to wear
to meet the boss.
5 - No peeking until Thanksgiving.

This could be great to include the entire family. Everyone could
participate by including notes of gratitude of the entire family.