Wednesday, June 19, 2013

10 Ways to Survive (and Thrive) in a Difficult Marriage | All Pro Dad

I like the All Pro Dad and they often have good advice and not just for dads. In the most recent article, 10 Ways to Survive (and Thrive) in a Difficult Marriage | All Pro Dad, they discuss how to survive in a difficult marriage. As usual, the advice is good and sound. However, I thought to add another thought. Most of the ten items correctly advise to not try and change the spouse, but to change ourselves. In addition, it is have the important conversations.

Monday, June 17, 2013


Weeding makes me philosophical.  Maybe it is that so many parables are have their root in working the land.  Maybe it is the undistracted quiet or maybe there is just something deeper about getting my hands dirty. 

I have a flower bed that has a lot of grass in it that I have to keep pulling out.  Early in the spring I can attack the grass with gusto.  As the flowers grow in I have to be more careful and take more time in order to pull the grass without harming the flower plants.  If I fail to weed at first, the rest of the summer becomes much harder.

Weeding is like removing those little problems that happen during a marriage.  First, if you take care of them early on before they can really get a root, they are much easier to address.  Second, leaving them to grow often leads to more problems that are harder to extract.

What are the weeds in a marriage?  The might be the little disagreements that grow into fuming arguments.  Another might be a hurt feeling that festers into a grudge.  Ignoring important decisions can lead to problems with finances.  As with weeds, each of these issues are much more easily resolved if addressed sooner rather than later.

Take a look at your garden and see if there might be a couple of weeds you can pull to make it look better and be stronger.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

How do you flirt with your spouse?

As a reader of this blog, you will know that we are all about flirting with each other as a way to keep life interesting.  Well, over at there is a reader poll: How Do You Flirt With Your Spouse? which is worth a look.  You can comment here or there, but please share.

Some other ideas:
Love on a Postcard
Keep in Touch
Welcome Home

Wednesday, June 12, 2013


The other day my wife and I decided to play Monopoly which is something we have not done in a long time.  It is of those games we used to play as kids, especially on New Year's Eve when you have a long time to kill.  The game started out fun as we enjoyed spending the time together in some friendly competition.  Then as the game wore on, it became less fun.  Eventually, it became obvious that I was going to win but that it was still going to be some time.  Soon the inevitability of the outcome overcame the funness and we called the game.

Monopoly is a competitive game in which all the players try to win by beating the other players.  Those sorts of games are very fun and are very common.  However, there is a different sort of game available, a cooperative game.  In these games, all the players work together to reach a common goal.  Some examples of cooperative games include Castle Panic and Forbidden Island which is one of our favorites.

In Forbidden Island, the players work together to reach a common goal.  From description:
 In this game, teamwork proves essential to locate the Earth Stone, the Statue of the Wind, the Crystal of Fire, and the Ocean's Chalice as the Island floods beneath your feet. Adventure... if you dare!
The point of the game is to capture 4 relics and safely escape the island.  Each turn, part of he island gets flooded making it increasingly difficult to survive and win.  The players all work together to capture the relics, keep the island from flooding and helping one another.  Also, since the game is cooperative, discussing strategy and tactics together is not only encouraged but required to win the game.

One thing I like about the game is it emphasizes working together rather than against each other.  In that way it is a nice metaphor for how a marriage can work.  A couple working together to reach a common goal.  

It is also a game the whole family can enjoy.  Since the game is all about working together, there is no problem helping a younger player knowing where to move it which cards to flip.

If you have never tried a cooperative game, give Forbidden Island a try.

Wil Wheaton playing Forbidden Island
Wil Wheaton plays Castle Panic