Showing posts from October, 2004


Swimming is great for couples. It feels good and is wonderful exercise. If you don't have access to a private pool, most communities have a nice public facility for a small cost. Spend some time laughing, splashing, swimming and just having fun while getting your heart rate up. If you have kids, all but the littlest can participate.

Tell Her About It

People forget. Emotionally, everyone lives in the present. The past is gone and cannot be changed. The future is a long way off. The only real existence, at an emotional level, is now. Keep this in mind while considering romance with your sweetie. Billy Joel sings a song called "Tell Her About It". Mostly one would not seek advice from pop music on relationships, unless its bad advice you seek. The theme of this song goes right to the point though. Even if you have told your sweetie many, many times that you love them, they still need to hear it again and often. Emotionally we think "Sure, you said you loved me yesterday, but what about today?". Is it logically? No. Does it make sense? No. Unless you remember that emotions don't deal with the past very well. Its the higher areas of reasoning that understand the more abstract concepts of time. But, emotions tend to overrule reasons. So even though your sweetie "knows" you love them, they

Fortune Cookie Game

Prepare a a bunch of small, fortune cookie size, strips of paper with sayings like: * Tell what you find most attractive about your sweetie. * Express gratitude for something your sweetie has done * If you could go on a vacation anywhere, where would it be? * You are going to be stranded an island together, what would you take? Be creative. The "fortunes" should be about hopes, dreams and aspirations. Also they need to include suggestions on giving a compliment and also to remember shared moments together. Then, for each "fortune", take a fortune cookie and wrap it in a damp paper towel and microwave for 30 seconds. Quickly and carefully open the softened cookie, remove the original fortune and replace it with your own fortune. Reshape and hold the cookie until it gets hard again. Now spend some time together as a couple taking turns opening the fortune cookies and doing as the fortune directs. This can be a lot of fun for just the couple or for the


For a fun evening at home, have a pretend blackout. Just don't use anything has to be plugged in to work. This includes: TV, computer, stereo, lights, oven, microwave, etc. Do leave the fridge running though. Use flash lights, lanterns, or whatever. Spend the time normally devoted to TV talking, telling stories and playing games. Note: be careful when using candles that they are not unattended. Also, do not use anything in the house that requires propane or kerosene. It can build up carbon monoxide.


Most people have hobbies. These of course include stamp collecting, bird watching, photography, fishing and so on. It might even be writing or following a particular football team. Whatever it is, your sweetie probably has one and you probably know what it is. If you don't know what your sweetie's hobby is, find out. Just as likely, your sweetie does not have time to pursue that hobby. With the demands of marriage, kids, career and everything else which fills our lives, most of us have precious little time to pursue our own interests. Often, we feel guilty about spending time on doing "my thing". The result being we put those things aside for a long time. Another common thing is that we don't have same hobby as our spouse. He's into football and she likes gardening or something like that. This is another reason people put hobbies aside. What little free time people have, most would rather spend it with their sweetie. It often ends up a decision of wh

I Treasure You Chest

Get a small recipe card box. Decorate and personalize it for your sweetie. Inside place a single index card that says something like, "This is an 'I Treasure You Chest' where you can store your 'treasure cards'. Each card tells how much I treasure you". Then, every so often leave an index card somewhere where your sweetie will find it. On the card write a little something. It could be the line from a song, a thank you for something your sweetie did, a verse from the Bible , a quote on love, line from a movie or just your own special thought. One fun idea is to spread a poem over several cards. Make some serious and some funny. Your sweetie can place all the cards in the "I Treasure You Chest" and can read over them whenever they feel a need for a boost. For a nice addition, you can get small stickers that say "I Love You" or are in the shape of a heart. Place a sticker on each card before hiding it or delivering


We often hear that a marriage should be 50-50. Each partner should contribute half to the relationship. By implication, each partner would then withhold 50% from the relationship as well. Consider a football team. If each member of the team does his half best, would this team go very far? A marriage is the ultimate team. Each member of the team needs to give it 100%. The husband needs to be 100% dedicated to the wife and the wife 100% dedicated to the spouse and both need to be 100% dedicated to the marriage. Just as players on a football team need to be 100% dedicated to the team. "Wait!" you say, "I can add. 100% + 100% = 200% How can a single person give 200%. That's just crazy talk". Welcome to the concept of synergy. By dedicating yourself completely to your spouse, and your spouse doing the same, you create synergy. You are able to do more as a team than either of you can do alone. Its like in those war movies when one soldier says "I got

Read the Good Book

One aspect of a marriage that is often overlooked is the spiritual aspect of the relationship. With the pressing demands of the both the physical and the emotional needs, the spiritual needs of a couple can be overlooked or dismissed altogether. There is always so many things that need doing. Then what little time is left is usually dedicated to meeting emotional needs. Take time to add a spiritual component to your life and your relationship. A great way to do this is to read from the scriptures together. For those who already have some religion or belief, take some time to study your holy books together as a couple. By fulfilling the spiritual needs, you can add a new dimension to your relationship that you did not know you were missing. Even if you do not consider any writing be "The Word of God", your relationship can still benefit. Just pick one of the standard religious texts, be it the Bible, Koran, or some Eastern text. By studying it together you will lea

Batter Up!

Have you ever been to one of those batting cages? The ones around here have different cages with pitching machine that throw either softballs or regular baseballs. The pitching is either fast, medium or slow. The slow pitch was slow enough that even a first grader was able to hit it a couple of times. Each of you can take turns hitting a few pitches while the other provides the cheering section. A great way for the just the two of you or the whole family to have a good time and not spend too much money.

Sunrise, Sunset

With fall here, the sun is getting up later and going to bed earlier each day. The next couple of weeks, before the shift in daylight savings, are a great time to do something few couples take time to do: watch the sun rise. The sun is coming up pretty late so you don't have to get up early. Have yourselves a warm breakfast. Then make some nice hot cocoa and go outside and spend a few minutes counting the stars, watching them disappear, and seeing the sun peep over the horizon. Can't manage a sunrise? Try a sunset instead. Sunsets are also worth a few minutes with your sweetie. If you have the kids along, have them try and name all the colors they see.

How About a Foot Rub

Most everyone loves their feet rubbed. We stand on them, walk on them, jump on them and otherwise abuse our feet all day long. So, its no surprise that a little pampering of the feet goes a long way toward making your sweetie feel pampered all over. Rubbing them with a nice peppermint lotion just before bed seems to work well. As a matter of fact, there's a method to the whole foot rub. There are those who claim that like acupuncture, reflexology contributes to the health of the whole body. In reflexology, each area of the foot is mapped to some other area of the body. For example if you have a head cold, then rubbing the "sinus" section of the foot, the pads of the toes, is supposed to help. Does it really work? Try it and find out. The worst that could happen is your sweetie gets a nice foot rub out of the deal.

Make 'em Laugh

Do you remember "Singing in the Rain"? The "Make 'em Laugh" scene is one of the most memorable of the movie. One of the reasons that the movie holds up so well is that in today's world of movie-magic and computer effects, is that that scene of dancing and slap-shtick is still a joy to watch. I just laugh and say, "How did he do that?" Maybe I should have included "Singing in the Rain" in the romantic movies post , but I digress. Tonight, make your sweetie have a good laugh. While jokes are good for a laugh, a personal anecdote is better. Better yet is recalling an experience that you have shared like the time during your honeymoon when the the waitress looked at you and exclaimed "Slob!". Then she came back and said "Keep it on you plate or in your mouth!". That one still makes us both bust-up laughing whenever we think about it.

Holding Hands Improved

What is nicer than holding hands? You can do it almost anywhere, at anytime, while doing most any activity. You can hold hands while walking, waiting, watching, and any time you want to let your sweetie know you are there. If you haven't held hands for a while, try it. However, even the simple act of holding hands can be improved upon. Next time you are holding hands with your sweetie, give them 3 small squeezes. When they look at you, do it again, but this time say "I" with the first squeeze, "love" with the second, and "you" with the third. Now you have a way to tell your sweetheart that you love them whenever you want, even when you can't talk. A private, secret message you can send whenever you want to or your sweetie needs it. Thanks sweetie

Season to Fall In Love

What a great time of year autumn is. The weather has cooled off and in many parts of the country the trees are doing a slow motion fireworks display. Here in our neck of the woods there are several "scenic loops" that are famous for the fall colors. I took off early from work and took the wife on one of the scenic loops. The fall colors were amazing against the deep green of the evergreens. We even spotted a couple of moose near the top. It will be one of those times we will remember and talk about for quite many years. Be sure and bring a camera and get some pictures of each other in the fall beauty. Take some time to get out of the car and walk among the trees and the leaves. The smell of the cool air, the colors of the trees, the crunch of the leaves underfoot, and the feel of holding hands make these moments a feast for the senses.

Piecing it together

Get a favorite photo of the two of you together. Take it and make a copy of it. Then write on the back of it why this pictures means so much to you. Be sure to include that your sweetie is still very important to you. Then cut it up as a jigsaw puzzle, put it in an envelope, and mail it to you sweetie.

Caramel Apples

With it being fall, apples are in season. What better way to spend some time together than with caramel apples? They are a delightful treat, not too sweet and mostly good for you. There are several ways to enjoy them. Go to one of the "gourmet" candy places in town together. They usually have gourmet caramel apples in a variety a of flavors that they will will cut into slices for you. Be bold, be daring, pick a flavor have never tried and share it together. These candy stores are often in a shopping mall so the apple can be a part of an evening of holding hands, window shopping, laughing and trying something new. Pick up a gourmet caramel apple on the way home and surprise your sweetie. Take turns sharing and feeding each other. At most grocery stores they have caramel apple kits in the fruit department by the apples. These include sheets of caramel and sticks. Basically you wrap the apple with the caramel, harpoon it with the stick and nuke it for a few seconds. Tr

Date Night

Remember when you were dating how much fun it was? As importing as dating is for courtship, it is just as important for married couples. Are you the same person you before you were married? Is your spouse the same person you married? Since the only constant in the universe is change, it stands to reason that each of you have changed. What better way to keep from feeling "who is this person" than dating. Dating is how you each learned about each other in the first place. Dates have the following benefits: Shared experiences. Some "we" time is important A chance to talk Have fun together Laugh Continue to get to know each other.


Touch is an important part of a relationship. Some people suggest that we need eight or more hugs a day for proper sense of self and well-being. An added benefit is that by giving a hug, you are receiving the same benefit as the recipient. How many hugs have you given your sweetie in the past week? Try to work up to eight in one day and see if it doesn't make you both feel better.