Ferocious Flirting: Making Marriage Wonderful

There is a story of Johnny Lingo which you can read and has been made into a short film . The story is one of a Polynesian trader who goes bargaining for a wife. No one can understand when he offers the unheard of sum of eight cows for a girl that most consider not worth even two cows. Johnny, it turns out, is a good trader after all. People live up to or down to others expectations of them. Tell a kid they are stupid and they will believe it for the rest of their life. Treat a kid as if they are intelligent and they perform better in school. As quoted in ERIC Digest 116 July 1997 on Expectations for Students: Students tend to internalize the beliefs teachers have about their ability. Generally, they "rise or fall to the level of expectation of their teachers.... When teachers believe in students, students believe in themselves. When those you respect think you can, you think you can" (James Raffini 1993). Living to expectation applies not just to students, but to your swe

Many people do not know how to take a sincere compliment. Part of the problem may be that people do not receive compliments often enough to have practice gracefully accept them. Also, since they are rare, we wonder what it is the person wants from us. Is this really a compliment or am I just being buttered up? People also fear that accepting a compliment appears arrogant. What do people do when they receive a compliment. A common response is to put yourself down. Consider the this common exchange: You have a wonderful singing voice. I was off key. What follows is that the giver of the compliment feels the need to reinforce the compliment while the receiver feels the need to continue to put themselves down with each compliment so as to appear modest. The net result can be that both parties feel poorly with the exchange. How to receive a compliment. Simply say Thank you, that was very kind of you to say. Notice how the receiver does not appear immodest because they are thanking them fo

My sweetie loves to shop, but doesn't often go shopping for herself. With what kids need, car and home repairs, medical bills and so forth, there isn't a lot of money to go shopping with and she often feels guilty if she spends anything on herself. Even if I give her cash for birthday or Mother's Day , she will often spend it on something the kids need or want. One thing that works are gift cards from a store where she likes to shop. Sometimes gift cards feel impersonal. They seem to say "I don't really know you well enough to choose a gift you would like." For that reason I try to avoid giving gift cards to people. But in the case of my sweetheart, it works out well. First, I spent the money so she doesn't have to feel guilty about it. Second, since it can only be used at a place she likes to go, she can't spend it on the kids. Third, she likes me to accompany her when she shops so it makes a nice date night for her. Lastly, it lets her know I am pa

I usually refrain from posting other people's words. However, today, is a rare exception. I found the following floating around the Internet and it is worth sharing exactly as it is. Thanks to Anonymous who wrote it: The Gift of Listening But you must really listen. Don't interrupt, don't daydream, don't plan your response. Just listen. The Gift of Affection Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends. The Gift of Laughter Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you." The Gift of Solitude There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others. The Gift of a Favor Everyday, go out of your way to do something kind. The Gift of a Written Note It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet. A brief, hand

Remember when you used to "double date" in school? Once we did a double-quintuplet date (10 couples al together) while dating in high school. We had fun, even when all the girls went to the powder room together. While generally not as "romantic", a double date can still be a lot of fun. One idea is to go to a baseball game together. Baseball tickets are still reasonably priced. Enjoy cheering for the home team and stop for ice cream on the way home.

A couple of previous posts, How About a Foot Rub and Sweetie Appreciation Week talked about how wonderful it can be to get a foot rub. My sweetheart is particularly fond of them. One way to improve a foot rub is to use peppermint foot lotion . It feels great and soothing without making your sweetie's feet cold. Tip: When applying lotion, put some on your hands and rub them together. This will warm up both the lotion and your hands, making the foot rub them much more enjoyable.

On April 25th from 5:00 - 8:00pm , guests will be treated to a slice of Make-A-Wish Cake. In exchange for the free cake slice, customers are encouraged to make donations to benefit the Make-A-Wish Foundation. One slice per customer, of course. See the Cold Stone Creamery web-site for more details. We went last year. Its yummy and for a good cause.

Declare some week to be Sweetie Appreciation Week. Mark it on your calendar a couple of weeks in the future so that the anticipation can build. Then, each day during the week, do something to show that you appreciate your sweetheart. Mine would look like: Monday: Footrub Tuesday: A note of appreciation Wednesday: Her favorite treat Thursday: 1 hour of "sweetie" time Friday: Her favorite meal and video Also send a card romantic card in the mail on Monday so your sweetie will get it at some random time during the week.

Mother's Day is approaching. Here is a sweet deal for giving flowers and other gifts to your mother and to your sweetie. They can even handle last-minute orders, if you choose to put it off. Don't put it off too long though. The deal is a coupon code for 15% off your order. Save 15% on Mother's Day Flowers & Gifts at 1-800-Flowers.com. Use code 82M at checkout

We had a family vacation this past week, which explains why the posts were so few and far between. I will be posting details on my Random Notes blog. Now back to the regular tips.